I had a heavy downpour in the last two days. The relationship weather was a storm! More like a hurricane. We were almost stuck to the situation without being able to move to the left or right.
I have been doing some thinking. The real situation here is:
- If I have been nice to Mr. Hubby like doing the chores by myself or giving him time off with friends, he will have the tendency to take more than what is given to the point of exhaustion. I can give the concession when I am able, but I can't take it if I feel I am being taken advantage of.
- If I have been nice, and Mr. Hubby takes advantage, I would tend to be okay even if I am not okay. Up to a point that I burst and that when the real trouble came in.
- If the blast happens, I tend to be inforgiving. No matter how Mr. Hubby apologized I would be stone-hearted at the stage of exhausting Mr. Hubby's patience. It is like I have used up all of my patience and is using up all of Mr. Hubby's patience.
- Mr. Hubby has the tendency to put problems aside while I prefer to talk it right out before going to bed at night. BUT...I put in my ego to not start the discussion because I would feel if I did, it means I care more, whereas I want Mr. Hubby to care the same way I do.
Thus after such ferocious fight, we came to a conclusion:
- Discuss problems right of the bat.
- If the problem persists, we are going to take a break 10 minutes (advisable - pray/ take wudu'/ lie down)
- Avoid doing anything else at the same time while discussing - improve our listening skills
- At least discuss it before going to sleep - don't bring it to tomorrow
