I have thought that I lost a sister today. I thought I have lost her because of my fault. But indeed, I looked back, I have not hurt her as badly as she has. I have been hanging onto the fact that she is a sister that I kept on blaming myself for things I am not sure I have done.
In actuality...I have not lost her, she lost me. I had enough of her treatment. In actuality I am very happy. Looking back at my pictures, I have grown confident with myself. This is a Photograph of Me.The title I adapted from Margaret Atwood of a woman's 'disappearance'.
This is a Photograph of Me
It was taken some time ago
At first it seems to be
a smeared
print: blurred lines and grey flecks
blended with the paper;
then, as you scan
it, you can see something in the left-hand corner
a thing that is like a branch: part of a tree
(balsam or spruce) emerging
and, to the right, halfway up
what ought to be a gentle
slope, a small frame house.
In the background there is a lake,
and beyond that, some low hills.
(The photograph was taken
the day after I drowned.
I am in the lake, in the center
of the picture, just under the surface.
It is difficult to say where
precisely, or to say
how large or how small I am:
the effect of water
on light is a distortion.
but if you look long enough
eventually
you will see me.)
Margaret Atwood
I would consider that she is being drowned by her surrounding engulfing her presence from the society. I would not let anyone make me feel that way. She is a nobody now that she treated me unconditionally heartless. I will be strong, I will be relying my life to God, I believe in Karma. I will avoid from hurting others whom I love. I have a good friend for a very good advice who would condemn me if I do wrong and who would approve of me when I do right, but I know deep in her heart she is purely wanting me happy. "Be a Tree, Big Tree, Tall Tree"...I want to add..."bear Fruits of Happiness"
